>>115132
Well, most comically, the very first time I recall being aroused was in 2nd grade by a textbook illustration of a dinosaur. I think it was the way the legs were drawn. Purrgem and a few others already laughed at me about it, but I don't remember the thread I posted that in. The point being: there was probably always something "off" in my head.
I also remember I'd see a bunch of generic animal fun fact shows as a kid and then I'd pretend to be said animals. I think this is normal among children but, along with other behaviors, it took an embarrassingly long time for me to grow out of it, and it overlapped with my watching the aforementioned Yu-Gi-Oh! program. One of the main traits of that character I shared (whose name is something like "Katty Catherine"-- how inspired, I know) is communicating with and behaving like cats, if I recall correctly. I suppose that must've resonated with me and so I decided from that point onward that I was a cat and I'd act like one. But unlike other times that I'd larp as an animal for a bit, this became a fixation for years afterwards. The thing is: I'd never really been around or observed cats for any significant amount of time prior to, so I just emulated all the "stereotypical" things I heard cats did. I think I've always been introverted and never really sought to socialize, only really ever having one friend at a time, all of whom approached me, not the other way around. This would've matched the general temperament for cats just fine, but instead I actively went out of my way to become antisocial because, in my head, all cats were like this 100% of the time.
In a way, this probably saved me from being groomed along with not having Internet access until about 5th grade, because I realize now that I was pretty much on the therian track, not the furry one yet. Once I did get Internet access, the only real "interaction" I had with furries for years was through-- you probably guessed it-- porn. But I would just use it and log off. I genuinely never felt the need to interact with anyone frequenting those sites or with anyone online, really.
I deluded myself into thinking that one day I'd just magically transform into a cat or would gain the ability to shapeshift or would grow a tail that I'd have to keep concealed and that's when everyone would finally find out. Those delusions gradually evolved into a letter-from-Hogwarts type fantasy that there was a secret society of similar people and that they'd contact me one day and were even watching over me. The most embarrassing part is that these delusions did not cease until about 9th grade if I had to guess, where I finally started to accept that all that shit was probably not real and I was just a boring old human. But even all the way through to maybe two years post graduation, I held on to some strange cope that, despite being human, I was more animal-like than average, or that humans are more animal than we admit (which I still think is true to some extent), or-- conversely-- that anthros and animals would be/are more like humans than we give them credit for, etc. I had this idea of training my sense of smell, and I started walking around barefoot and semi-digitigrade. I started taking cold showers and ice baths to develop a tolerance for freezing temperatures and still held on to some fantasy that this would induce fur growth somewhere in the back of my mind. I had even planned to use minoxidil in the hope of thickening my body hair. Some of these things actually stuck around. I still walk mostly barefoot and toe-first even outside on the hot pavement, proving that human feet *are* tougher than given credit. I *did* learn to endure unbearably cold temperatures even without fur just using breathing techniques. And I'm still using minoxidil to accelerate beard growth, though I doubt I'm going to start applying it to the rest of my body as I originally intended.
Yet, throughout all this, nobody ever learned of these delusions. I kept them to myself. Most everyone probably thought I was just a weirdo, which I suppose I am and always have been and always will be. Not once did I ever go around proclaiming that I was "on all levels except physical" a cat or animal, nor did I ever seek attention. At most, I would just take delight whenever someone made some simile or metaphor comparing me to an animal, which occurred at least a handful of times in relation to some random thing or another. There was only one friend I had for about two years at the end of elementary school whom I hinted any of this to. He was into the Warriors books and I recall him saying something like "maybe you're turning into a cat" in response to some bullshit I must've said like "my hair's changing color, you know." He was the closest person I met who likely had similar fantasies to my own despite us never having discussed them explicitly. I've noticed similar delusions occurring in autists and schizos, especially the kinds that had websites and webcomics and the like back in the day, though not all necessarily relate to animals. I probably would've become one of these had I had Internet access earlier, or more time on my hands and less miscellaneous hobbies later.
Anyways, as for how in the world I ended up on this website... I eventually started seeing more furry shit leaking out of the usual places I expected to find it, and that would make me think "oh maybe there are more people like me" after all (before realizing they were all mostly insufferable faggots). One of those places happened to be the Sharty, where I came to learn of this site. That's how I got here. Curiosity killed the cat (heh). I'll admit virtually all the furry media I consumed prior to arriving here was porn, but I had come to appreciate a few pieces of furry or furryesque SFW media as well by then. In a way, I guess there was still some lingering sense that I belonged to a different world whenever I laid eyes upon an anthro or cartoon animal, similar to that beckoning feeling I first felt ages ago as a child when I looked into the edge of the forest while camping, the first few times I was ever outside the city with what felt like thousands of stars above. I still remember feeling something telling me to just run into the trees. In other words, after all this contrived bullshit spanning all these years, I wound up with a little more than just a sexual attraction to furry media, which led me to appreciate this site and the art and media I've learned of through it.
Also, I somehow did not end up with a fursona. I've made peace with my human self. Nor did I ever lose my sexual attraction to real life human women-- though I still prefer anthro sisas, of course. I think that's basically my whole story, barring a few details and conclusions here and there.
Sorry for the wall of text. Holy shit, I cannot ever dox myself to you guys now. This shit is terribly embarrassing but it took far too long to write so I may as well post it now. What's done is done.