/b/ - Random

>>7617 (OP) 
Talk to your gp

>>7620
https://youtu.be/ZyrZ6RxceEE

>>7620
Literal who.

>>7622
General practitioner

>>7625
I'm not even in the military, mate.

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>>7626
>I'm not even in the military, mate.

>>7627
Well, sorry I'm not casually best pals with a general.

>>7626
General .P takes civvies too

>>7629
general 'p?

The doctor already put "untreated anxiety" on my medical record ever since I honestly filled out one of those mental health questionnaires they give you. I suppose I am rather prone to anxiety, yes. They'd probably freak the fuck out if I ever described having incidents like this where I just randomly feel a little restless in the middle of the night and prescribe me like three drugs. No. I think I can solve this myself. There are probably a few demons lingering in my subconscious mind that may have to do with it. It's a matter of confronting them, which'll happen soon enough. I wrote this log because everything became so clear to me in that moment: the three conflicting elements of me, and I don't want to forget it. I also wanted something to do in that moment. I understand better now what meditative breathing techniques do. I woke up surprisingly well-rested and in a very clear state of mind, albeit later than I intended. Also because I recommended yoga nidra to a friend who uses melatonin to induce sleep sometimes (since it's worked for me), but I realize now that there are certainly levels to the perturbation of the sympathetic nervous system. Some are not so easily quelled.
>>7630
>never enlist in the jerdee army

Maybe a stress hormone disorder. I don't know, this isn't something I've consciously experienced.

I went to my clinic today for an unrelated reason and they gave me one of those questionnaires I was talking about (https://www.apa.org/depression-guideline/patient-health-questionnaire.pdf, if you want to see it yourself). It pretty much asked shit like "do you want to just end it all right now?", "has your appetite been unusual lately?", "have you stubbed your toe in the past 14 days?", etc. So, of course, I marked 0 for all of them except two questions about sleep quality for which I marked 1 (out of 3). And lo and behold I apparently have "minimal depression" just because I couldn't sleep none too good a handful of days. ??? I thought they'd consider those as secondary symptoms of depression in the context of the more serious questions like those regarding suicidal thoughts, but it looks like it's just a dumb tally system. I'm pretty sure you can get something like moderate depression on your record if you just happen to have insomnia + indigestion. geg.

No, the comma at the end of the URL is not supposed to be included in it.

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>>7767
I am always cautious when I fill those things out.  Whenever I am too candid, whenever the mask begins to slip a little, they start talking about SSRIs.  No thank you.

Just take meds

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>>7785

>>7617 (OP) 
I have chronic sleep apnea and I'm going to a doctor to finally see about fixing it after not going to a doctor in years

>>7770
What's the deal with SSRIs again? I was on fluoxetine for a few months. I feel it did more than the shitty therapy they gave me. But then I got off it and I'm fine... I think. I just used it as a boost to get out of that awful, dreadful feeling I seem to have entirely induced myself by fixating on melancholy.

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>>7790
The only "me" there is, is the chemicals in my brain.  Taking muh HAPPY PILLZ(tm) to replace them with different chemicals amounts to a form of suicide.  That is alarming.  It alarmed me further to hear a shrink last year say "Your brain?  Oh, no, it doesn't affect your brain.  It just affects your mood!"  That was when I decided I could no longer take him seriously.

Maybe there's something wrong with me.  Maybe I'm the crazy one.  But, see, back before it was so commonplace, I observed a couple of women have epic meltdowns when told their HAPPY PILLZ(tm) prescription refills were delayed.  This was only slightly more disturbing than the bug-eyed SSRI stares they displayed when they were on the stuff.  Now, of course, they tell us half the population is gobbling that shit up.  "It makes ya feel better!  Try it, it's good!"  I have heard the same sales pitch for booze, weed, cocaine, electroshock therapy, and prefrontal lobotomies.  No thanks.  I don't want any of that shit, and, just between us, I don't want to be around people who get their coping skills from a pill bottle, either.  You may think of it as leaving more for you, if you like.

None of the people trying to get me to consoom any of that stuff ever listened for three seconds when I said "I am depressed because my mom died last month and I just got laid off, I just went blind in one eye, I have medical bills coming in that I can't pay, my life is generally more shitty than usual right now, and if you are acting out of a genuine desire to help me, can you help me take some concrete steps to fix my life?"  Nope.  It's PILLZ PILLZ PILLZ PILLZ.  It's muh weed.  It's muh booze.  It's muh oxy and muh percs and muh robo and muh Xanax and muh meth and  muh animal tranquilizers, and it's all exactly the same thing, with minor distinctions in degree but no differences at all in kind. I have never seen anything good come from anybody taking up any of those habits, ever.

So, thank you, but no.  I will find my way in the world without it.  I apologize for disappointing everyone by being insufficiently hot-looking to pull off aesthetically pleasing goth style melancholy, but I am not going to scoop out my own brain with an ice cream scoop, toss it in the nearest dumpster, and replace it with a bucket of Prozac pills.

>>7793
i can fix you

>>7799
That's what SHE said!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH7PCUmr57Y
>>7793
I wasn't trying to sell you on them. I was just curious what the purported negatives of their consumption are. I too was hesitant to take said medication at first and ditched it as soon as I felt better and stable enough to escape and stay out of that pit on my own. And my reasoning was the same: I conceived of them as protracted, chemical "lobotomies" which erase the self and replace it with someone else. That's exactly the same reason I've always considered the concepts of psychology and psychiatry strange, and their acceptance as normal even stranger. These are fields whose focuses are the study of the mind and, ultimately, its manipulation to shape it into-- ostensibly-- a "healthier" state. In theory, that's a benign and noble cause but there's always the question of who decides what a "healthy" mind is.
So I've always been wary of therapy and psychiatric medication for that reason. Then again, therapy itself is just conversation, no different from any other. If one's self is altered by means of conversation, that's only natural. That's what changing one's mind is. The "self" must constantly die. The chemicals in the brain fluctuate perpetually, be it by natural or artificial means.
But I took those pills anyways because whatever it is that I had done to myself was unbearable: nothing but sad, tormenting thoughts no matter what I did. So I can understand the reactions to the refill delays you mention to some extent.